IV. Finding Friendship and Love in China 

(1) Saba Restaurant

When I first transferred to Central China Normal University, a Chinese friend of mine had plans to open an Arabic restaurant in the vicinity to the university’s west gate, close to our international student dorms. She noticed that there was a scarcity of Muslim-friendly restaurants, and believed that opening a restaurant would offer us more choices. We were overjoyed by the idea and readily contributed by providing suggestions, brainstorming names, sourcing chefs, and even helping with various tasks. I was often cooking in the dormitory and had earned the title "head chef," which led to me being recommended as her assistant.

The restaurant was eventually named "Saba," which is the name of a famous Arabian girl. The moment you hear "Saba," you know it's a Muslim restaurant. The owner of "Saba" was a beautiful and kind-hearted Chinese girl who had a deep understanding of and appreciation for Muslim culture. Thus, we chose this beautiful name for her restaurant.

Whenever our friends had free time, they'd visit "Saba" to lend a hand, whether it was carrying dishes or working as waitstaff. I was the main helper, sometimes assisting in food preparation, cleaning, and table setting. During any break from classes, our group of friends would gather at the restaurant for tea and conversations. If the restaurant got busy, we pitched in, making it feel like our own home. "Saba" left us countless indelible memories.

When I was studying at China University of Geosciences (Wuhan), I utilized my summer vacation to serve as a volunteer teacher in Northwest China. Upon my return, two of my female schoolmates from China University of Geosciences (Wuhan) frequently visited "Saba" to watch me work. My friends often teased me about it. In my home country, it's almost unheard of for boys and girls to hang out together, although this has become increasingly common nowadays. However, when I first arrived in China, my focus was solely on learning Chinese and securing a good job, and I hadn't considered matters of the heart. It was the owner of "Saba" restaurant, Laila, a beautiful and kind-hearted Chinese girl and a Chinese friend of mine, who changed my perspective.

(2) My Circle of Friends

When I first arrived in China, everything was filled with novelty and wonder, but with the lapse of time, that sense of newness slowly faded. I started to feel unfamiliar with the people and surroundings, occasionally experiencing loneliness and confusion. In the initial months of my time in China, I and my Somali compatriots were inseparable. Gradually, friends from the same dormitory building began visiting, including Arabian friends who joined us in our prayers and a diverse group of African friends. Later, I even got to know students from Asian countries like Vietnam, Malaysia, and Indonesia. They were all my fellow students, and their command of the Chinese language was impressive. We often made plans to go hiking, visit scenic spots, shop, have tea, cook meals, and work on assignments together. It was during that phase of my student life that I came into contact with a multitude of international students. Through conversations and interactions with them, I gained insights into their cultures, experiences, and their perspectives on China. Among my close friends was a cheerful Tunisian who was always ready to help, a Yemeni with vast knowledge who constantly inspired me, a friend from Micronesia (a country I had only just learned about) with whom I shared a great rapport, a humorous Vietnamese friend who loved to clown around, and many others. At the time, I was relatively introverted, not particularly adept at making friends, and my command of the Chinese language was limited. Yet, being around these friends brought happiness, helping me gradually adjust to my life in China.

Later on, I realized that our social circle was mostly confined to fellow international students and rarely involved interactions with Chinese locals. In fact, this tendency is quite common among international students: they either stick with their compatriots or keep to themselves, avoiding social activities and rarely venturing outside. This limited interaction hinders their comprehensive understanding of China. When I recognized this issue, I began making a conscious effort to connect with more Chinese people. At the "Saba" restaurant, I formed many friendships with Chinese individuals. Initially, people from my home country had certain preconceived notions about Chinese people. They assumed that all Chinese were skilled in martial arts, with knowledge limited to movie stars like Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and Michelle Yeoh. This stereotype even made some believe that Chinese individuals were aggressive. However, I later discovered that Chinese people do not like to use physical force. I witnessed a brawl in a restaurant once and thought they fought rather ineffectively, realizing that not all Chinese people possess martial arts skills. Unlike the more permissive attitude in Somalia, fighting is against the law in China, therefore, we must respect and follow the Chinese laws.

My most profound impression of Chinese people came from a young man I met at "Saba". This Chinese boy, Yan Han, was just a teenager, but he exuded warmth, vitality, and an exuberant demeanor. He was incredibly generous, forthcoming in his interactions, and was always eager to introduce us to exciting and novel experiences. He was an avid fan of celebrities and often delighted in showcasing his admiration for them. He would dance and sing, imitating his favorite stars with astonishing precision. The carefree spirit he embodied seemed to fill a void that many of us shared. It was the first time I earnestly comprehended the soul of Chinese people. From that point onwards, I initiated more conversations with Chinese individuals, allowing me to diversify my interactions and gain a more comprehensive understanding of their culture. The common thread among them was their friendly and kind nature, a willingness to assist others, and a particularly warm attitude toward foreigners. This sentiment was shared by many of my fellow international student friends, contributing to the profound sense of belonging I developed in China.

(3) A New Motivation to Learn Chinese

I can't pinpoint when it began, but my attention always followed her. I'd be the first to arrive at the restaurant and the last to leave. On days when I didn't go there, I felt a void in my heart. Laila is truly radiant. It seems like she knows everything, and her particular interest in politics intrigued me immensely, which I found quite astonishing. She often engaged in conversations with us, showing genuine concern for our lives. Her warmheartedness knows no bounds. On one occasion, when she learned that my brother hadn't wired me my financial support, she frequently invited me for meals and even allowed struggling international students to have meals on credit. Her trust in us was unwavering.

At "Saba," many customers have become our friends. During less busy times, we'd make appointments to visit nearby bookstores to read. After closing up, Laila occasionally organized outings to play pool with us. She was always willing to teach us if we were unfamiliar with the game. Many international students enjoyed coming here after classes to work on their assignments. Laila assisted us with our studies, and if she was too busy, she'd ask her own friends or even Chinese customers to help us. She frequently arranged gatherings in the restaurant where we'd sing, dance, play poker, and Uno. Laila is incredibly outgoing, always wearing a smile and radiating boundless energy, as if she could illuminate a room. All my friends adore her, and with Laila around, "Saba" felt like a warm, welcoming home.

At the very first, my command of Chinese was quite basic. I always carried an electronic dictionary with me. When communicating with Laila, I often needed to consult the dictionary. Sometimes, in moments of urgency, I resorted to a mixture of Chinese, English, and Somali. There were times when I was so nervous before her that I could hardly speak and had to resort to blushing and gesturing. However, Laila is exceptionally smart. Every time, she would smile and tell me not to worry. Most importantly, even when I couldn't express myself clearly, she could accurately understand my meaning. On some occasions, she used humor to ease my embarrassment. I knew that Laila's English was not that proficient, but she always initiated conversations with us. She was not shy or self-conscious; instead, she exuded confidence and had a vast knowledge base. She enjoyed speaking Chinese with us and emphasized that it was for our own good, to enhance our spoken language skills. To converse with her more, I diligently studied Chinese. My proficiency in the language progressed by leaps and bounds after getting to know her.

As my Chinese improved rapidly, I could finally communicate with her effortlessly, just like friends. Once, when Laila accidentally twisted her ankle while cooking, her foot swelled significantly. Without much thought, I rushed over to help her by massaging her foot. She hesitated to accept my help but eventually agreed to let me prepare a hot water foot bath. At that moment, my heart ached for her injury, yet I felt joy that she had accepted my assistance. Through this incident, I realized her special place in my heart and my deep feelings for her.

(4) My Chinese Wife

As time passed, my admiration for Laila deepened day by day. Her presence stirred my emotions, and I couldn't help but feel extremely happy every time I saw her. Eventually, it seemed like she had sensed my feelings. One day, she called me to the second floor for a private conversation, leaving me anxious and wondering about her intentions. We began in silence, with Laila fixing her gaze on me. I fidgeted uncomfortably, but then she suddenly asked, "Do you like me?" I was momentarily stunned, thinking I had misheard. Yet her earnest eyes assured me that I hadn't made a mistake. I felt a blush of embarrassment creep over me as I lowered my head, but Laila didn't press further, merely maintaining her gaze. At that moment, time seemed to stretch endlessly, and after a moment of hesitation, I decided to reveal my true feelings. I confessed, "Yes," raising my head to look into her eyes. After a while, she asked, "How about we date with the intention of getting married? What do you think?" It was almost unbelievable to me. Suppressing my excitement, I looked at her and replied, "I need to talk to my father first, is that alright?" Laila agreed with a simple "Yes," and we concluded our conversation.

I spent the entire day in a daze, waiting until the time was right due to the time difference. I called my father late at night to discuss my desire to marry. He expressed hesitance, saying, "I don't approve of you getting married right now. But if you truly love her and she's a Muslim, I won't oppose your marriage." Early the next morning, even before “Saba” had opened, I waited at the door for Laila. I asked her, "Are you willing to embrace Islam for me? If you are, our families will agree to our marriage." Laila responded, "I can embrace Islam, but you must promise me one thing – you will only marry me. Can you do that?" Without hesitation, I replied, "I can, I can!”

At that moment, as I gazed into her eyes, and she into mine, I felt a strange warmth, and my eyes welled up with tears. Unable to resist, I gave her a gentle embrace. This was the beginning of my love story and marriage.

In November 2011, after three months of courtship, we got married. At the time, I was just beginning my third year of college and faced financial constraints as a self-supporting student. Consequently, we only took one set of wedding photos and, witnessed by our friends, we had a simple Muslim wedding ceremony at a mosque. My family didn't wish for me to marry early, especially not in China. However, my unwavering determination led them to agree reluctantly. Hence, I never asked my family for any financial assistance for the wedding. To this day, I remain deeply grateful to my wife and her family for their trust and acceptance.

In early March 2012, at the request and with the support of my wife's family, we held another simple wedding ceremony. Seeing my wife in her pristine white wedding gown filled me with immense happiness. This marked the beginning of my new life in China. Towards the end of 2012, we welcomed our first child into the world. My dearest friend, Azza (a Tunisian fellow student whom I met in China and shared my educational journey from undergraduate to doctoral studies), helped us choose the name Marwan, a historically significant Arabic name for our child. After marriage, my wife chose to leave the management of "Saba" restaurant to look after our family. Observing her daily dedication to taking care of our child, I also learned various household chores and how to care for our baby. My friends even dubbed me "Mr. Mom."

In 2013, I completed my undergraduate studies, and our child was just six months old. As I stood on the graduation ceremony stage, I looked down at my wife and child and reminisced about my experiences at Central China Normal University. My heart swelled with gratitude, and I felt that my love for China had deepened, making me more attuned to the academic atmosphere at Central China Normal University. Therefore, I decided to pursue my master's degree here.

Upon completing my undergraduate studies and after discussions with my wife, I made up my mind not to accept further financial support from my family and would independently cover my tuition and living expenses. My wife wholeheartedly supported my decision as she also aspired to open another Arab restaurant. She began working as a manager at a restaurant owned by her friend. A year later, one of the partners wanted to return to his home country and decided to transfer the restaurant to my wife. During my postgraduate studies, I received a scholarship, and my wife was working, so we essentially achieved financial independence. We were very content.

JJ'S was my wife's second Arab restaurant. She was determined to make it a success. There, she made many friends, and JJ'S soon gained a reputation as a highly regarded Arab restaurant in the neighborhood. However, with our child still very young and in need of constant care, I juggled my studies, volunteer activities, and childcare, while my wife toiled tirelessly at the restaurant.

After a period of time, these daily hassles led to frequent arguments and left us both exhausted. However, we eventually calmed down and had a deep conversation. Following that conversation, my wife made a resolute decision. She chose to quit her job and focus entirely on taking care of our family. My wife is a resolute person, so JJ'S quickly became a part of history. I felt a mixture of guilt and immense gratitude for her unwavering support and sacrifices. My wife is a highly capable woman, and I can confidently say that I wouldn't be where I am today without her by my side.

(5) The Endless Journey of Learning

After completing my undergraduate studies, my proficiency in Chinese had grown significantly. I was eager to pursue a master's degree and was fortunate to receive a scholarship from the university. Inspired by my wife, who had influenced me to pay attention to news involving Chinese foreign Minister Wang Yi, whom I found to be a charismatic figure, I chose to specialize in international relations.

During my postgraduate studies, what struck me most was the frequent excursions to surrounding cities and the countryside with my fellow students. These trips allowed me to immerse myself in the diverse cultures, cuisines, and landscapes of Hubei province and enabled me to form deep connections with many Chinese friends, further solidifying my love for this land.

Upon the completion of my master's degree, I secured a scholarship for my doctoral studies. My wife supported my decision to continue my education, and I chose to study diplomacy. During this period, I actively participated in volunteering at the university and later in the community. I even became a foreign community mediator, combining theoretical knowledge with practical experience. When I graduated with a doctoral degree, I had the honor of representing the Ph.D. students in a speech, marking my first public address in Chinese. My voice trembled with nervousness, but the speech was met with multiple rounds of applause from the faculty and students present. Particularly heartwarming was when my eldest son took the stage to present me with flowers. The entire hall erupted with applause and cheers. At that moment, I felt surrounded by love and positive energy, all generously offered by the faculty and students of Central China Normal University. From my first communal New Year's dinner to the first red envelope received, from group outings to various organized activities, the journey of my learning at Central China Normal University was filled with unforgettable memories.

Upon completing my doctoral studies, I faced the choice of career. My family in Hargeisa hoped that I would engage in business, as this was a popular path among many Somalis in China, given the country's robust manufacturing industry and burgeoning economic development. However, I chose to embark on a post-doctoral fellowship at the School of Marxism of Wuhan University of Technology because I wanted to continue learning. I desired to gain a deeper understanding of Marxism in China, as the Communist Party of China had embraced Marxism and led its people on a path of prosperity. My mentor was a far-famed professor in Wuhan, distinguished for his vast knowledge and approachability.

Upon completing my post-doctoral fellowship, I decided to become a teacher. I currently teach Somali language at Beijing Foreign Studies University. I greatly enjoy this profession, as I believe that teaching and nurturing young minds is within my abilities. In both Chinese and African cultures, and in our traditional values, we know that true enlightenment can only be achieved through open-minded learning.